July 7th, 1809
by barneyrockz
Summary: "July 7th, 1809. She could never forget that day. That was the day that everything changed." A short trip into a time in Caroline's past in an attempt to explain her actions and behaviors in P&P. One-shot


July 7th, 1809. She could never forget that day. That was the day that everything changed.

Before that day, nothing in Caroline's life was wrong. She was in love; deeply, hopelessly and blissfully in love. There had been all the usual flirtation, but something inside Caroline told her that this was nothing usual. His every look had caused a smile to break from her lips, his every touch sent shivers of pleasure down her spine, and his voice was more melodic than an orchestra could ever hope to be. But it was more than that.

She loved his smile and his laugh. She loved his eyes, his hair and pretty much everything else about him. It wasn't long before harmless flirtation gave way to so much more. Secret meetings began. Away from the eyes of chaperones, the boundaries of propriety were stretched even farther as light kisses and gentle caresses followed. It was not long after that Caroline made her confession.

"I love you." She had told him with gravity. And it shocked Caroline, because it was true. She loved him with the every fiber of her being. After only having an acquaintance of two months, she could no longer imagine a life without him.

He had looked at her with eyes filled with understanding and tenderness. He had smiled at her and replied without pretense or artifice.

"I love you too."

What followed these confessions was the happiest week of Caroline's life. Even when she was without him, it seemed that she walked on air. Still, they had not announced their feelings and relationship to society, and Caroline was anxious to do so.

On the evening of July 6th, they had another private meeting and nothing was unusual. He was just as affectionate as always. She could never have guessed what would come on the next day. But July 7th was to forever be ingrained in her memory for all the years to come.

That night, when she was alone in her bedchamber, Caroline made a wish. With all her heart and soul, she prayed that the man she loved would soon announce his intentions. When her prayer was finished, she fell into bed and was quickly drawn into a blissful and dreamless sleep.

The next morning dawned bright and cheery. It was warm, but still pleasant and the sun beamed welcomingly down upon the London streets. It had every appearance of a good omen for things to come, but in reality it just served to lower Caroline's guard and taunt her.

As was her custom, she came down to breakfast and opened the neatly folded newspaper. Her brother wasn't up yet, and if she let him read the paper first, it would end up an unorganized heap.

Not long after she picked up the paper, Caroline learned the meaning behind the saying, 'be careful what you wish for'. With a cry of anguish, she dropped the paper and rushed to her room, passing a very startled Charles.

The paper was still lying open on the table when Charles saw it. The man had indeed declared his intentions. Among the wedding notices, the name of the man Caroline loved appeared—in conjunction with another woman's. It was then that Charles had an inkling of what was the matter with his sister. He left the table without once touching the newspaper.

Standing outside the door to his sister's room, he could already hear the sobbing he had expected. There was only a slight hesitation before he knocked on the door.

"Caroline? May I come in?" She didn't answer, but the sobbing decreased in volume substantially. Knowing his sister, Charles chose to take the silence as invitation.

He found her sitting on the bed, trying to stem the tide of tears that threatened to escape her eyes. Her clothing was wrinkled and her hair messed up, but it was her face that drew Charles' attention. Her eyes glistened with tears yet unshed, and her skin had lost all color.

Charles had never seen _any_ sign of weakness from his sister. Ever. She was always strong; always composed. She had always been his rock in times of sadness. When their father died, she had been there, not only to comfort him, but also to help him through the new and challenging responsibilities he faced.

But now her strength was gone.

Charles could think of only one thing to do. He sat next to her on the bed, pulled her gently to his chest and began to slowly rock. This display of tenderness removed all of what remained of her composure and Caroline began once more to weep.

They did not speak, but some things are better expressed without words.

She did not see the man again, something for which she was both pained and profoundly grateful. Yet, something in her wished that he would speak with her, and even offer her a position as his mistress. She would have refused the offer of course, but it would have shown that he did truly have feelings for her.

July 7th changed many things. It changed her ideas of love and her relationship with her brother. But, it also changed her. Her heart was broken terribly, but not beyond repair. No, she repaired her heart, but it became slightly twisted and out of alignment. In her newly fixed heart, one word was repeated over and over in an endless chant. _Revenge._

She would show him that she didn't need him. She would show him that she could forget him. She would show him that she had moved on. Whether or not this was true, she no longer cared.

She would marry someone far richer and higher ranking than him. He would see that she didn't care the least bit for him. Now she only had to find the man.

Perhaps Charles had some rich friends from Cambridge…


End file.
